Fragmented thoughts! Part-III

Off the bed, into the bath

I brushed and scrubbed.

Out in time, dressed up all

Breakfast ready, all just mine.

Took to heels but a slothful walk

The bus arrived and drove me off.

The talk with bro, a good start though

And then JAS marched in with a tiring smile.

She ran into work right away

Hurried me to my bay.

Here I have a comp in front

I want to work, but it won’t.

Life has never been so much at ease

Gadgets around, yet I am at peace.

Several heads around clung to the desk-tops

And I alone can choose to dance a hip-hop.

Hosur Venture

Bags packed and all geared

Reached college and all greeted.

All fresh like the morning dew,

And that was a lie.

Eagerly awaiting the bus

We exchanged talks.

Planned for the travel and lunch

Smile widened at every item mentioned for munch.

Tired we boarded the bus

Late by two and half hours.

Music and bang vibrated the bus

In no time, many wanted to piss.

Lunch was funny as never

Paid a price to the ego of a server.

Reached MDC and booked rooms,

This time with different partners.

Met at the basketball court

Enjoyed the sway on the swing.

The wind forced pulled on my coat

The stomach screamed a ting.

Dinner and chats in room ended

Morning alarm irritated my partner.

Fled to the bath and downloaded

All thanks to the free service plumber.

The session made everyone sleep

Wanted to flee to woods in deep.

Evening was a treat on the court

Jumped and bumped the – GOLD SPOT.

The day was boring again

The spare parts aching in pain.

The eve was the heal to it

Hurried to accompany room-mate.

The visit to TVS in the noon

Left minds to revive from gloom.

The b’day celebration pushed tears

And smiles on Anu’s fascia.

Slept with Maiths that night

On beds set perfectly apart.

Roused everyone for the journey

Held in eyes all the best moments

Enjoyed the movie with Asha,

A child-like adult, pragmatic at times.

I penned down all good moments

Sparsely am reminded of harsh ones

I will not deny their existence though

For I did endure tears silently.

Nevertheless, smiles were widespread

Cams clicked only multi - colored teeth. 

Sad day long !

With the bright sun shine

I woke up at nine

Morning chores, along with Mom’s roars.

Smiles and giggle from children then

I dressed up all by ten.

As any other time, awaiting the regime.

Off we set to greet the baby

I wished my friend who looked a little shabby.

We entered like a troop, with unmatched sounds of boots.

All seemed fine like a fairy tale

Until when pinched by the ruthless male.

Allowed always to pierce, with words that would bring tears.

Was strong and forced a smile

And lectured all in style.

It covered up for the grief, at least that’s what is my belief.

Drove back home with a heavy heart

Dint bid anyone while depart.

Heard a pal pour his heart, to me when we are now poles apart.

I kept thinking of the ruthless words

Though truth never wished him to run swords.

My heart was broken again, trust me now it doesn’t pain.

The never to be known

Walk along the never-ending roads

My mind wanders as usual.

Emotions are inevitable, but

The choice still manipulative.

You will never know how I feel

What I feel and why, for I know

Not the answers by self.

May be I am pretending and

Will continue to do so.

The fear of rejection or acceptance

Still confused, I will stop here

For more of words and you will know

That which I wish not to be known.

RAINY EVE CHANGED IT ALL

Droplets kissed the lips

Horns of vehicles on the streets filled the ears.

With you it dint seem irritable

Your warmth brushed every now and then.

The mechanism of breaks in motorbike

While it is pouring cats and dogs,

Triggered what followed next

Your arms wrapped around for support.

Never knew I could be romantic too

For years of marriage never made the way

Tiny droplets laid the road though

We drove slowly to bathe in rain.

Back home we dried ourselves

Your coffee filled heat within.

Nevertheless longed for your hug,

All bcus of the soft music that played in my heart

I captured every moment then

To enact it everyday after.

It relaxes every nerve from deep within

Adding value to our bond.

ALL AN ILLUSION

He walked in or rather gushed in,

More than just classmates.

Shared views and beliefs

Enjoyed his company for no reason.

In no time we became good pals

Wrapped him as one in my family.

Confided in him the most

Trusted him blindly.

Days passed and so did months

Seasons and festivals collectively celebrated.

Always held me beside

Felt belonged, against all existing odds.

The turn made it all crash

Expectations took over love and care

Leaving no traces behind of

Anything and everything we did share.

Ego took birth, the one that I feared the most

I am a failure even today

All my emotions crushed to dust

Am left with scars of hurt.

Yet I am delighted to realize

Well he is all in gay

I pressed hard on my eyes to clear

The water particles that barred

My view of his last glance.

I woke up finally from my dream

Or confronted the truth it was all an illusion.

MA HRM 2010-2012

 Pen, paper and scale to draw line

Along which I met the whole of twenty-nine.

Every one proved to be kid

I was happy though to be a part of it.

Classes, tests, and assignments in the air

This set all on fire and yet hands busily massaged the hair.

Burgers, sandwiches or meeting just to yap

McDonalds is the place that filled the gap.

Presentations the greatest fear I had

I confronted it with preparation really bad.

Technology topped it with no aid,

All well though it ended and left luck unpaid.

The routine had included internships

Though initially only heard cursing lips.

Nothing changed and we got closer

TANTHRA did it all quicker.

Dinu, Vaish, Maiths & Snake,

Teamed with me laying selves at stake.

It was all over at the buffet

Followed by the model exams unexpected.

Entered the next semester

There was a severe shift though.

Everything seemed crashing down

Attitude, stinkers flew every now and then,

Yet something held us intact from within.

Met the most unexpected soul then,

The happiest moment was it to learn

The company I never had

Ever before while at work or even otherwise.

Unforgettable is the PATTA RAP song

Will yearn to hear it from the only one.

Whenever will hear it’s bong

The curve on my face would unconsciously deepen.

Nearing the end of a year

I have mixed feelings.

Happy to near placements and get back to work

Pinch of pain to leave behind fun with junk.

THE FRIEND

I fell and my lips almost kissed the ground

I sat down to cry over it.

You wiped my tears and the mud off the wound

While I kept staring at it.

Up we stood and the hug you gave

Until you felt my heart beat fine.

We walked back home holding hands,

You cleaned my wound spic and span.

Those moments will forever remain

Renewed and alive drawing the curve on my face

Though ages later we might not find time

For these are just, in my life, one particular phase.

You were, are and will always be

To make me smile and laugh out loud

Never countenancing even a moment of grief to peep

The only friend being tied in a blissful bond.

THE LEFT ALONE

I cannot be what I am not

For it is being deceitful.

I would end up in a greater mess

Than being left alone.

I refrain from adjustment

I refrain from manipulation

I believe in confrontation

And that’s why I am left alone.

It hurts with no companion

Yet I am at peace.

Sooner or later I will be on my way

No grief for being left alone.

I stand out from the rest

And for once realized I am the uninvited.

Aloud spoke the voice from within

"Cheer up buddy, I am there."

While most have the whole world with them

I have myself to hold me tight.

Surrounded and wanted by others all the while

While in real they are left alone!!!

Desire of a twenty-seven year old!!!

Words with one meaning

Life with one path

Friends many to be around with,

Yet, just one special companion.

The simple depict of life,

As it seems to a three year old.

That alone serves the purpose

Of leading a joyous life.

Fear of being dejected at times

Unaware of the consequences

We give in to temptations and

That clouds everything ahead from sight.

Schooling, college life & professional career,

Leaves no room for family and friends.

Crushed amidst manipulative environment

Lost is the innocence and freedom of being real.

Tired we return home

Yet busy with cellphones.

Machines are cuddled

Leaving disregarded the very humanoid.

There is no greed

Nor selfish intention.

A sincere desire of a twenty-seven year old

To live the life of a three year old.

Funny Companion

Dark chocolate complexion

Blunt nose, staring eyes.

Half-white coloured teeth

Yet his smile is so sweet.

“Mr. Bean” he calls himself

And writes – Milk to wine,

Endlessly I cheat myself

Listening to this bro of mine.

Happy to have one more bro,

Though never wished for it.

Keeps cawing like a crow

All way long until I insist – This is it!

He then smiles and winks at me

Acknowledging my stare.

Again we begin, just him and me

Yapping while people snore.

Clean in deeds and at heart,

Spreads smiles all along,

Will miss you a lot, tiny trot,

If we stay miles away for long!!!

This girl whom I met in class

No stream can flow so smooth,

No blow of wind so fast, swiftness she has,

This girl whom I met in class.

So bustling is her looks,

The eyes have a twinkle and they gaze so sharp, unswerving she is,

This girl whom I met in class.

So shrill it sounds her tone,

The pitch has all the command, stern she is,

This girl whom I met in class.

Perfection shall fall small a word

For her work so spick and span, so amazing she is

This girl whom I met in class.

As fast as a cheetah

As elegant & confident as a tiger is

This girl whom I met in class.

We learnt each other

As days passed further,

All smiles, clear thoughts,

A star like twinkles she,

I find her warm & calm

When I share my thoughts and she holds my palm.

She has indeed become, one

Pal in any need or none,

This girl whom I met in class.

Another pleasant evening

An unusual scenery I encountered,

Or rather a beautiful one.

To my right the clouds darkened

While the sun rays penetrating through the clouds on the left.

I wondered if it would pour heavily,

Or shower fire that would burn my skin.

I boarded the bus & found a window seat

And held my eyes intact to the sky.

School children rushed into the bus

Almost breaking the doors of it.

Not to find a place to sit

But to exhibit heroism.

I turned my attention back

To look at clouds that moved closer.

The sun rays couldn’t fight the clouds

And the dark clouds won it all.

It poured down cats and dogs.

Children had curves stretching from left cheek to the right.

Few though worried about the consequences

That the after bath would cause.

The crowd rushed out of the bus

And I was left with countable ones.

Then is when I missed my companion

Whose talks are all with a meaning.

I reached my destination stop

And boarded another bus to take me

Closer to my home, my heaven.

I smiled at mom and thanked the climate

For entertaining me during my lose, finally

I thanked God for yet another beautiful page

Being added to the book of my life!!!

My Bro

I love him loads despite

His unpleasant behaviour;

That which he exhibits

And always feels proud for owning it.

There is nothing special about him

Yet there is that friendly warmth.

He rescues me from depression

By cracking the sickest jokes possible.

 He is a go-getter that way, I believe,

For his jokes achieve the goal – My Smile.

I still remember, though vaguely

The day I learnt I am having a lively doll to play with.

I prayed to God for a brother,

To my surprise and to ascertain my belief of His existence,

I was blessed with a young PLUMP BROTHER,

My first child, I call him.

The moments we spent in childhood

Are blurred to the eyes.

Nevertheless, the footprint it left then

Still is as clear as crystal.

Fights and arguments did ensue between us,

Dint last more than period of a second though.

The most cherished are the after fight moments,

We wiped the tears of each other.

He has not grown much though,

Behaves the same way -

So muddled, ragged in his everyday chore,

Just not grown enough an adult - to my dismay.

All my dislikes are towards his behaviour,

Hence, it doesn’t stop me from loving him

The same way as I did back then during childhood

And it shall only grow more with decades to be spent.

The most cherished friend

People walked into my life,

As I opened the door of my heart,

As my friends during strife

Helping me in all conduct.

I shed love upon them

For the least of favor though,

For it was then I got them

And wanted to protect them from all sorrows.

As days passed by, I could still feel

Empty at heart though everyone beside.

Could not understand why

And swept the thought aside.

Further in the journey did everybody leave,

Never realized when they all left me.

So alone so as could be

All by myself, JUST MEL

You came into my life, as a fairy I wished

For ages I lived lifeless.

The warmth of your hands that mine clutched

Made me feel complete and fearless.

The love I had yearned for

So long had it been;

And when I get it from you,

In my tears is the happiness seen.

I regret today for not being a guy

For I would have done anything to marry you,

Without the slightest of thought of your opinion too.

Nevertheless, I am glad I am not a guy, for a friend I am,

I am aware of every feeling of yours and would never hurt you

And I shall perish, if ever I do!!!

The Awaited!

The words that exist in this world of myth,

Belief, trust, love, togetherness,

All are just words, no feelings.

For the people in this world believe a thief & not a lawyer,

One who steals for living is good they think,

Than the one who earns his living.

Hope all the unfaithful things would end,

And so I trusted ‘Friendship’ & ‘Husband’.

One stabbed me from behind,

While the other tore my heart to pieces.

Oh God!

Isn’t there a ‘PERIOD’ to all this?

Isn’t there the word ‘The End’ that is effective for these too?

I can question only you,

For till this moment you have kept me alive.

This lifeless body, yet lively soul,

Searching for open & pure sky to breathe, to feel the feel of liveliness.

Ready to give up everything for the ‘One’,

Who can understand & live with truthfulness.

Realizing

I sat all by myself

No where to go

No one to speak with

No one to share my feelings or thoughts with.

Worried all by myself

Clueless of the way ahead;

Shouting within my heart

For not getting a solution to my problems.

After a while when my heart dwelt in peace

Forgetting the reason for the worries,

The solution was right in front of me in no time.

My happiness knew no bounds;

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

A usual way of expressing joy

For my heart did believe

My best friend is still alive.

Dwells in my heart deep within

Not letting me down in any way.

Kept his promise & brought smiles into my life.

I held my head high in the air

Shouting,” Here I come to you life,

To live & cherish you all over again".

A simple picture of LIFE

Pop goes the whistle of the train,

Hop - go the children on the roads,

Extremely watery and smudged because of rain

Along with all those ugly toads.

Lovely is this sight to enjoy.

The bright sun shines at the dawn and

Holds a pleasant smile at the twilight;

Girls along with their boy

Holding hands, walk in gay all throughout the day

With faces so bright.

Life is so blessed I feel sometimes;

We ask more of it & it does fulfill our needs.

To the extent that we are never contended

Craving for too more, most intended.

Oh God! I thank thee for every beautiful moment spent.

Never in my life will I ever repent

For anything big or small

Always will I rise again,

No matter how deep I fall..J

My love never turned back

Away from you I feel aloof from the world

For it was your touch in my life that shone so bright,

Darkness dawned slowly I never realized

Your absence in my life made it obvious.

Not a single time did you try to console me?

That made me cry more and more did I feel

Alone just left all by myself

None to rub the dust on the life’s shelf.

Earlier days not so ruthless

Why does it happen as time passes by?

Love fades away and ego gets over

The upper hand to rule heart that is flawless

Nothing can I do without you

Here I will wait for ages through,

Longing for the touch that made me feel

That I am made just for you. 

My Beloved Departed

Never thought would get away from you,

For I did love you

And I still do

For it is eternal love for you;

You & only you have made me feel

This happiness that is so real.

It makes days longer with your thoughts

And nights deeper with you in dreams

The moments are so special

Those which we shared;

Others also felt

We are beautifully paired

Only you never realized

Our love that is divine

With out you it is paralyzed; and

Will be complete only if we get tied with LUV twine!!!

Unpleasant Decision

As usual had thoughts entangled

When it suddenly struck me,

The best thing to do would

Be the obvious - confront the truth unspoken by me.

It would not have been otherwise

That I was so lost besides the words that kept

Clinging near my ears, to my surprise

I heard my heart that after ages wept.

I wish I never thought such a brutal thing

Upon which my heart opposed against intellect.

While one strongly agreed and the other otherwise,

Again the heart was swayed by the strongest.

My heart accepted defeat

For it appreciated – sooner the better;

Because the damage whatsoever is definite

And that I would later never again recover.

Against all the above said

My heart I believe will not refrain,

It had been and so would be

Adamant as ever, holding to sour thoughts sown.

Acknowledgement - Inner Self!!!

Should I apologize to self?

Or just self- realization would do?

I believe the former is required

For there is no bigger crime than forgetting self.

Reasons not known for this behaviour though

Now that realization peeped in

I am sure not to repeat this

For I definitely paid a price.

I felt left alone beside the crowd.

Had many friends, young and old

Wandered lost in my thoughts

My heart groaned in pain, not finding a shoulder to cry.

I had neglected my best friend

The inner me, a ruthless behaviour anyone can exhibit.

Yet “it” held my hands when I lost my way

And here I am to savour the sweetness of feeling complete.

TURTLE Walk Night

Have relished the twilight

From behind the bars of the window

Cuddled in the cool breeze

Walked along the wind that was blowing slow.

Troupe of known and unknown faces

All set together as rescuers.

Though none knew the work to do

Bags packed, hanged on shoulders.

The scouts set ahead of us,

The rest striking a vague conversation

With the women so gentle and calm

She spoke besides the annoying commotion.

The walk seemed exciting

While people had mixed moods

From the start of the journey

Eyes met as though staring at woods.

I had a new companion

Unusual that her voice was not feeble.

Laughing through our way a ahead

Walking besides the prick of pebble.

Giggled together when met again

Nevertheless, space was existent

Slept on my way back home

With loads and loads of pain.

Felt weird about a lot of things

Yet reserved my curiosity

Because the day had passed

A new dawn had taken birth already.

Reached home to hear my mom’s concern

Fondled her shoulder comforting her fear

Having completed my early morning chores

Hit the bed and fell asleep cuddling my BIG teddy bear J

LIFE - Unpredictable yet beautiful!!!!!!

The changes we encounter,

Willingly or unwillingly

We do accept it however harder

For we ought to live lively.

They in turn change your view

Make you adaptable to environment

You adjust and accept it too

With a lot of excitement.

Then again comes the same phase

Yet again another change

By the time you wink your eyes

There you are with life on a totally new page!

Only YOU!!!

My emotions towards you

Are true only to you.

None have made me feel

This ever before that is real

I see you in my dreams,

All the while like milk and its cream.

The moment I don’t see you

I become lifeless like black hue.

I am sure I will be only a mass of skin

When I have my life without you in

I would love to cherish the love of yours

That should be mine till the last breath hours.

Love you always -LIFE

A whole new day

To cherish in all new way

To laugh & dance

To the tune that plays

For all time favorite

Is happiness of course

With very little right

Given to the cry & curse

For life is to live on and on

Never ending journey of love upon

The ones, who are near & dear to heart,

For life will be nothing with them apart…

THE WORLD

The words that exist in this world of myth,

Belief, trust, love, togetherness,

All are just words, no feelings.

For the people in this world believe a thief & not a lawyer,

One who steals for living is good they think,

Than the one who earns his living.

Hope all the unfaithful things would end,

And so I trusted ‘Friendship’ & ‘Husband’.

One stabbed me from behind,

While the other tore my heart to pieces.

Oh God!

Isn’t there a ‘PERIOD’ to all this?

Isn’t there any word like ‘The End’ that is effective for these too?

I can question only you, Oh Lord!

For till this moment you have kept me alive,

This lifeless body, yet lively soul,

Searching for open & pure sky to breathe, to feel the feel of liveliness.

Ready to give up everything for the ‘One’,

Who can understand & live with truthfulness

My dearest cousin……..

In my deep thoughts, all of a sudden something struck me

As if some one touched my heart

I could feel the warmth;

For it was something special

As if there was a miracle that my heart had longed for

A person whom I could share things with;

My feelings to be respected as that of someone dear

Whom my heart can feel too near

Who could give me a shoulder!

Be it good times or that being the worst

Who understands the turns of life!

Like that of expectations of a husband from his wife

To soothe him in times of depression

And love & cuddle in times of pleasure

For all these I could see & feel U & only U

My sweetie pie

My sweet little cousin

My dearest Poo…