Human Behavior – Not a saint Not a demon, just being Human

Human Behaviour – Not a saint Not a demon, just being Human

I had been worried of the lockdown ever since announced. Worried not for what will happen now? I am confident the experts are on duty and there are several services of government who have been working to protect and give it their best shot.

My worry is about me – Physical and Mental – ME. I would want to thank this Debate Queen – Karthiga, my friend who reiterated like the several other friends that I need to let go.

I have always believed that I am strong psychologically – I fall and get back on feet in no time. Any person I have come across also has been appreciative of the same. This phase that I live today has made me understand every bit of me all over again and trust me it is all new. Every day has been a different experience. Highs and lows are always there. I have believed it was normal to calm yourself when required. I am badly mistaken. I actually am better left aside alone; my rebound is faster. I thought maybe I am getting obsessed with self. I decided to focus on my family members to check this new theory.

When in irritation I tried to calm them. I have also asked them to reflect on their behaviour and see if they would want to course correct whatever possible. I discovered it was a bad idea because they ended up reliving that unpleasant moment.

It is very well said – you cannot go back and change happened in the past; you can make a change in future. That doesn’t mean you have to wait for the same instance to be faced with and get conscious and make it even more messy. My family actually reacted as per the theory. Leave them alone and they did get back home. They come back to normal when left alone and not spoken to about the unpleasant incident. After recovering, they behave as if that moment never existed.

We learn in this journey of life and needn’t or rather shouldn’t be colored by our experiences. We learnt everything that makes us a human being and to be on our own after we stepped into this world. Man is an amazing machine and all respect to the Mechanic. We are already tuned well and we only need to absorb further through our experiences. Not to be afraid and refrain but to learn to combat what is lying ahead of us.

This shall also pass-by and I can say this confidently NOW. I have begun focusing on people rather than the mistakes. I like my friends and family and they are important not the errs we do. Most importantly, I am beginning to discover this side of me – trying to understand what it means to forget.

This journey is new and I hope to enjoy it. Let’s see if you recognize the new me!

Corporates and Human Resources

Corporates are called Giants and Humans as Resources - very well paired words they are. It can be very evidently felt that corporate world is a giant and humans are only the resources. I do not mean to be-little " Humans" but would want to draw your attention to the state of our workplace today.

It is expected of the employers to provide for a Good workplace and a healthy environment. How do we define this? Let's take one at a time.


Good workplace - We all have hygiene in-built and it's degree alone differs from person to person. In the corporate world it is a standard and cannot afford to go lower than the expected. So, a spacious workplace, lights, airy, having central a/c vents, washrooms, cafeteria and most importantly - Salary and benefits.
All are tangible and can be satisfying for almost all employees. The crucial one it is called yet being fulfilled. I guess then we are mistaken with the meaning of Crucial. Something that is crucial cannot be so easily dealt with. It has to have involvement at all times.

The real crucial factor that determines the mental health of any employee is thus the - Healthy Environment. Why do I use the word - mental health? Well, that is the driver for our entire human body system to function properly.

I heard a few voices and here's what the voice of an employee is -

Good manager sub-ordinate relationship:
Trusting team members with the work given, giving adequate training, having mentor to look up to, unbiased and non-discriminated viewpoint, equal opportunity to voice opinion for/against, dealing with the situation rather than the person, avoiding stepping into personal space of each other

Freedom of thought and inclusiveness
Management by objectives, empowerment, growth opportunities for mutual benefit, having employee forums for opinions to be shared for betterment of the organization, good employee engagement practices

This list can go for pages. The point I am trying to make is - today we have leaders in technology and in people management. We have however not been able to raise leaders who can strike the balance between the two and also be cognizant of the fact the one size doesn't fit all.

If corporate managers feel they are doing their best and yet their team members leave, it is time to refresh the basics. Being empathetic, understanding why and what the employee/team member says and very cautiously practice not to frame opinions and judgement basis these. The employee may be in a different state and if corporate calls itself a Giant - Please be the Bigger person LITERALLY.

It will in no-time become a employee driven space where employers who fail to understand the dynamics of the employees would drown and it will only impact hem and not the workforce. There is always need for good talent and it will be appreciated.

Employers need to embrace the changing dynamics to see a better future and dive confidently into the CHANGE that is inevitable.

I would like to leave the reader with the thought that there is also the OTHER SIDE to this dynamics and you will be able to read that in the next post.

Re-discovering SELF!!!

Can anyone really be in LOVE!

I have laughed over it and have made fun of people enough when they said " I am in Love and it is beautiful!! ". It never meant anything to me beyond two people trying to impress each other for the sake of being together. It was according to me never possible for two strangers come together and be in LOVE for a lifetime.

Love has to be an emotion and there is always change of behaviour with change of emotions. How can anyone all time be smiling / all time be crying and hence all time be in LOVE.

Relationship/companionship has its own package and I have experienced it. LOVE was not the foundation though. It had been the FEEL GOOD factor that always held me closer to my friends and Family.

the years 2013 till 2015 had been a turmoil and 2018 invited me into it with arms wide open. The journey looked beautiful. There was a moment of emotion that I never realized what it was and went drowning into it.

The year 2018 revealed more about me - Good - Bad - Ugly and I only loved myself more. I further discovered that I was right. LOVE is an emotion only and not e RELATIONSHIP status. It cannot fade with time not be erased by anything that existed in this universe.

Whenever I wanted to fight back my emotions I only felt weaker and was losing my SELF. I made my mind to accept what is and get going with the flow. Life never seemed easier before and I was enjoying it. This is not stable either.

Feeling Love for someone outside you was one while for someone in YOU is the key to be happy. While I yearn for reciprocation I felt it as an expectation and that was never going to be fulfilled.

I would want to discover more about myself and hence I long for my ME time.

My friends call me Crazy and Mad. I am one!!!

The Strange ME!

While I have been believing all this while that I would not blame the situation, I have been doing just that. I experienced - "Better Late than Never" as I see myself making an effort to stand low while emotionally not in control. That statement really is a puzzle. I couldn't write it any better.

I have been fighting a fool and have been trying to play the game mastered for more than 2 decades. I then realised I had given into stress and have fooled myself by thinking I am going to beat him in his game. That's not my cup of tea!

I took a step back and have been in talks with my well-wishers. All thanks to Dexter, BMR and Aslan. For longer now ( I don't remember since when), Dexter has been a great source of relief. Talking to him gives me clarity as I hardly see the film of judgement that any other person would have.

Aslan and BMR have been the pillars all throughout. There is definitely better relief I felt when dealt with in person and that was possible because of Dexter.

I wonder at times why I write my experiences here. Here's what I want to achieve. 

                I WANT THE UNIVERSE TO LISTEN

All said and done, when it doesn't seem right, it cannot be the end. It now ia in the hands of the UNIVERSE to protect me from the Corporate foll and Vice versa (accommodating the fact that I could equally be at fault from the other viewpoint).

I would share details of the scenario and the conclusion when I reach there.

A weekend worth living!

It all began with a plan to catch up with the BMR and Aslan. I had to take a few steps - precautions to what was expected to follow. We decided to meet at BMR's house and then head to Chrysalis site along with Aslan.

I got the address from Ramya, the directions from Aslan and reached the place - without getting lost :P. I met Ramya and Aslan whom i could already hear roaring in laughter while i was climbing up the stairs. We made plans on how things can be laid in case I make my move. Real helpful people I have met and they really went a way ahead in helping me put things in place. I could get a little better picture so that I can make my decision when the time comes.

Ramya's Husband and 2nd daughter came over to pick Ramya on their way back home. It was then we realised Ramya would not accompany to Chrysalis. Aslan and I headed towards the site and when we reached, Sun played its part and burnt us a little during our walk from the parking to the site's view.

Post that we headed to Aslan's house. That was a totally unexpected invite from Aslan knowing him as a person too busy on weekends. we had our lunch with Palani and then parted ways. I collected a few chocolates and a game for Himani. When we reached his house, their family was fast asleep. We then found place in Aslan's personal room and I could hear his mom asking us for tea / coffee. I could see the violin ket in attic and asked Aslan whether we can dust it at least. He accepted and I dint want to wait a moment and quickly got the violin on his bed. He very carefully dusted it and to my astonishment started tuning it to play.

In the meantime Himani woke up. She being herself insisted to play and was having her part of fun with it. Nothing like watching a musician enjoy playing that there was a real smile on Aslan's face. I could sense he was happy for having touched the strings he had once enjoyed. We then got busy with the Lego blocks game along with Kuttyma and Himani.

Until 7 pm we were enjoying arranging and making new shapes. It was growing darker and I chose to start back home considering I will have a long distance to cover through public transport. I bid goodbye to all and asked Himani to visit home the next weekend which she accepted to without any second thought.

Aslan dropped me closer to Tambaram railway station and got back home in an hour. I thanked Aslan for the relaxing experience i had at his house.

It is important to spend time doing what we like, whom we want to be with and most importantly, feel and be Our won self. That was nice that day.

Until I write next, take care and Be Present where you are and in what you do.